Saturday, January 26

A Poem!

Here is this poem I wrote the other day. I'm really not a poet, but I felt inspired to write this.

Something is stirring up inside of me.
I feel so weak
And I just want to flee.
My heart feels like it's full of fears.
I don't feel like I'm at my peak,
and my eyes keep filling up with tears.
I want to be strong,
like the world tells me to be.
Yet Jesus is my hearts song.
My spirit and flesh continue to fight.
Why can't my flesh just see,
that Jesus is the only light?
I want Him more than anything,
To be the center of my life.
But right now my heart feels like it is not able to sing.
Like it's being stabbed with the knife
of the things I'm afraid of...
My fear of man.
I just want to know that I am loved!
The things Jesus is doing in me...
I am not a fan.
It hurts, can't You see?!
When God tears down the walls,
inside of my soul.
It's like someone is throwing hard balls,
and one of them breaks my bone.
But I know that one day I will feel full.
I will not feel alone.
Jesus is here,
and her cares for me.
He will take away my fear.
It is with Jesus that I belong,
So devil, leave me be!
Jesus is my only song.

Friday, January 25

Some of My Thoughts

So, tonight I went to my crocheting group again tonight. It was really great. I learned how to knit with my fingers, which is different from crocheting but it is a whole lot easier. Anyways my friend Bethany who leads this group wanted to show us a short video that she saw on Heartwork about orphans. One of the girls there who Bethany is babysitting for the night, is ten. And Bethany didn't want her to see a short part of the video because it was a little graphic. (It wasn't to bad. There was just a little seen where there was just a hand. It was a little gross, but not bad.) But that's beside the point.
The younger girl states that graphic stuff doesn't bother her, she watches PG-13 movies and sees way worse stuff on those. And this got me thinking... That sounds a lot like me a few years back. It use to bother me so much when my friends would tell me to close my eyes during a part of a movie because "I'm sheltered" and so therefore I can't watch that stuff. Or I was sheltered so I didn't know the songs they listened to. And I'm a couple months older then them too! I got so tired of being called "sheltered" that I listened to more sketchy music and would sing along with it. And I wouldn't close my eyes when things got sketchy on a TV show. And I would tell my friends that I have heard way worse things or watched way worse things so that I could be cool like them.
But then I came here to dla...
Now don't get me wrong. I do love my friends dearly. I just have a different view on a couple of things, which is great! It keeps us all open minded.
Anyways, coming here, the HS youth pastor that I work for, John Mac, says that "if you willingly watch something or listen to something, you are in agreement with it." Like if I willingly listen to a song or watch a show that all it talks about is sleeping with a bunch of guys and getting drunk, then I am in an agreement with it. Even though I may say its wrong, I am still am filling my head with it.
It's kinda like what James 3:9-10 says, "We praise our Lord and Father with it, and we curse men who are made in God’s likeness with it. Praising and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers, these things should not be this way." I'm talking to God and reading my bible and filling my head with Him, and then filling it with other stuff that leads away from Him? 
Yesterday during class Pastor Brandon the Jr. high youth pastor said something along the lines of, "I can't follow hard after God, and have my secret sin." 
I can't keep moving after God and want more and more of His heart if I hold onto things that hold me back.
And tonight I started to think about what the younger girl was saying, and how I use to be. And if only I didn't want to fit in so much and be cool. If only I could have just been me. I would not have meaningless things floating inside of my head. Empty lies that the devil can use against me.
Then this thought crossed my mind. Wow, I've grown since coming here. Now if something came onto a movie that is a little sketchy, I would either close my eyes, or stop watching it.
There is a song by Scott Krippayne called I'm Not Cool. I use to really like it when I was younger. Part of it says, "I'm not cool, but that's ok. My God loves me anyway." It's really good.

So, that's what was on my mind. I kinda rambled on with this post. But those are my thoughts.

Sunday, January 13

A New Life Skill

So, one of the girls in my high school discipleship group that I lead loves crocheting. And recently she started a crocheting group to make things to sell to earn money for an organization called Heartwork. They help orphans from all around the world. So, I have been learning how to crochet!

I was able to turn this,

into this!

Thursday, January 10

Our God is Coming!

I am super excited for this to happen!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 8

My Parents

Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

This is a verse that I think my parents did a pretty good job living it out. :)
Thanks Mom and Dad!

Monday, January 7

A Not So Very Busy Me

It has been a while since I last posted on here. I haven't been super extremely busy recently. I just haven't been very motivated. I was back at home in Washington for the past 3 weeks for Christmas break. But now I am back in Colorado! So, when I was back at home, I went on a few adventures.

I went riding at Miracle Ranch

I went to Seattle and saw the gum wall.

We also went hiking in the mountains in the snow. My doggy loved it!